The prologue.........
Excuse the jolly old hand, unfortunate fall and emergency operation. Solicitors are instructed and all that.
Excuse the jolly old hand, unfortunate fall and emergency operation. Solicitors are instructed and all that.
Our beloved second bathroom in the attic had to be turned into a spare room. There were several reasons why I was not happy about this:
Closest to home is Marjorie, my own wife. She has been hankering for separate bedrooms for years! She'd move herself in there like billy-o! Making an even bigger mockery of our marriage!
Then the light of my life, Lavinia, and that awful rough girl she hangs about with, will get up to all sorts in there. Despite her having a luxurious bedroom of her own!
Then there's that mare, Madonna, who seems to move in at every opportunity. She'd be setting up a recording studio there in no time!
Not to mention my old mucker, Lord Posh and his tiresome chimp. He installs himself in here at a drop of a hat!
Ironically, the spare room is going to the person I want to have it the least....Daphne, Marjorie's cousin and her illegitimate son! She got through the first heats of X Factor, and she now wants a London base.
I tell you, these spare rooms are not a good idea. Never make it easy for tiresome guests!
I tell you, these spare rooms are not a good idea. Never make it easy for tiresome guests!
Whatever is Plastic Paul to do? How can he rid himself of these long-term visitors?
Tune into the next post for a gripping turn of events..........
Tune into the next post for a gripping turn of events..........